Falling

Over the past week I have had a sadness I can't shake. I don't know if it is the change of the season or the fact that I'm getting closer to my milestone of 37 weeks with my current pregnancy. Probably some of both. Some days I can't believe it has already been a year since I had Brinley. It seems like it was just yesterday some days. With Halloween approaching I'm sure that is playing a part in my mood. You can read about last year here. It wasn't a good day for me.

I have been trying to be somewhat more optimistic about this year. It is exciting not knowing if I am going to be pregnant or have my Little Bird in my arms by then. I've been hoping for a Halloween baby since I found out my due date.

I'm so tired these days which I'm sure doesn't help my mood. I've been so bored sitting around my house. I need to find a hobby to keep me busy over the next month. I wake up everyday feeling like I just want to go back to bed. I feel on the verge of tears everyday. I'm worried that I may suffer from postpartum depression after I have the baby. I didn't want to take medication for depression. I wanted to change my diet and exercise to see if that helps first but I haven't been very successful at doing that just yet...

I'm just trying to make it to the next day at this point. Hoping this feeling goes away soon.

Baby pictures...

You know how you go to the OB/GYN office and you see pictures of everyone's happy healthy babies posted on the walls. All the successful births the doctor has delivered over the years. It occurred to me that after a year I was ready to give her a picture of my Brinley love.

When I talked to the doctor about Brinley's picture she said she did receive it and mentioned that they have a book they keep these pictures in. She did ask if I was comfortable with her posting it on the bulletin board which I said yes. So I'm not sure where her picture ended up, probably in the book she mentioned but I feel better now that I got to share her picture with the doctor that delivered her.

Why shouldn't I be able to do this for my daughter just like all the other happy proud mothers?