Today I helped inform

I had a chance to enlighten students in the medical field about my experience with baby loss. Since I work at a college I was asked by one of the instructors if I would mind coming in to speak about my loss. The students are studying to be OB/GYN nurses so they were learning about what happens when things go wrong in a pregnancy.

It has been just over 9 months since I had Brinley and I'm always looking for ways to be able to talk about her so I thought what better way than to let others know about her and my story. Maybe through this experience other mothers and fathers will receive better care from these students because they have been enlighten to how a  baby loss parent feels.

I was nervous but very excited about being able

Teddy Bear from hospital and the outfit Brinley never got to wear.

to talk about Brinley. I told them my story from start to finish which can be read here. From there I went on to explain things I thought were helpful like being told she was beautiful and being able to hold her and have pictures made. Things I wish I had been able to do like hold her more, see her eyes, dress her, and spend more time with her. I told them about the items I received from the hospital that I cherish like the little pink angel and the teddy bear that wears her going home outfit she didn't get to wear. I mentioned that baby loss parents don't like to hear their child talked about in medical terms like fetus or embryo because to us it was our baby no matter how far along we are.

In the middle is the pink angel that hung on my door at the hospital

I talked about the Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep organization that came and took the pictures of us with Brinley. I talked about Faces of Loss and what a great support resource it has been.

I told them how I have been coping with therapy and blogging and online support groups. Also by reading books and talking about Brinley and what happened.

I cried a little but I actually made it through without breaking down. I was able to share my story and make a difference (hopefully) in future baby loss parents lives.

I got to end with the good news that I am currently expecting a second child and that I am 16 weeks pregnant today. The baby is the size of an avocado.

I miss my baby girl each and every day and even though it doesn't look like it I think about her all the time. I'm so glad I got to share my story and hope that something good comes out of my darkness.