Saturday, June 18, 2011

10 months gone too soon

Dear Brinley Love,

Today I woke up early to go watch the sunrise. I did this for a fellow BLM (Baby Loss Momma) who was in my pregnancy after loss group. She was 16 weeks pregnant after losing 2 babies before this one and found out the other day that this baby no longer had a heartbeat. It is moments like these that remind me to enjoy every second because you never know what will happen. I am currently 19 week and 3 days pregnant with your little sister so the reality of losing another baby is on my mind all the time. Although I receive so much support from these women it is also a source of reminders of how quick it call all go wrong. They need me as much as I need them. So in going back to why I went to the beach for the sunrise; this BLM had requested pictures of the sunset but since the sunrises over the ocean here I thought I would get a picture of the sunrise. I also thought this would be a great way to start the day in remembering you. I awoke at 5:30 am, which is WAY early for your mother, this morning to head to the beach by myself. The very first picture I took of the sunrise had a beautiful heart in the clouds. I just knew it was from you.

When I got back home I uploaded the pictures first to my pregnancy after loss group for this BLM along with this statement.
"For every sunset there is a sunrise."

I also uploaded the pictures to my Facebook album and posted this picture above as part of a status update about it being your 10 month angelversary. I had also seen a dragonfly and bumble bee today. I knew you were with me all day. I was waiting to find my dime but I never did. Turns out you sent it to my friend Morgan. This is the comment she posted for me....

""dude i thought about you guys of the girls at work was walking by me and she said "oh wow, a dime! you never find those on the ground!" i thought of someone who does all the time! she picked it up before i could take a picture of it for you. but you were in my thoughts today!! ♥""

 I love that you send me dimes in all kinds of special ways. I miss you so much baby girl.


Your mommy