Whole30 Week 1 DONE

I can't tell you how proud of myself I am for completing my first week of Whole30. I have managed to eat clean and healthy all week long. Although I had planned on starting July 1st with the Whole30 community my official start date was June 29th. I quit drinking coffee cold turkey which wasn't that hard since I only drank a cup a day. I quit eating all sugar. Did you know that sugar is in just about everything you eat?!! I am surprised at how many foods contain some form of sugar in them. You really don't know how much sugar you are eating until you read your labels.

I found the weekend was harder on me with keeping my meal plan going. I just didn't know what to eat for some reason. With this past weekend being July 4th we went to a friends house to hang out. I was only able to eat a burger with toppings and some deviled eggs that were made with avocado instead of mayo plus my wonderful fruit tray pictured below.

Back to work this week I feel more at ease with what I will be eating. Shopping is the biggest thing for me right now to make sure I have the right foods at home to eat. If nothing else comes of this meal plan it will be that I am learning to be comfortable in the kitchen and cook more. All my adult life I have cooked dinner maybe 3 times. It has always been something that my husband handled and I have never needed to learn. Working with whole foods and simplifying what I'm cooking makes it a less scary task for me to tackle. PLUS the The Whole30: The 30-Day Guide to Total Health and Food Freedom* lays it all out for you with step-by-step instructions to get perfectly cooked EVERYTHING.

How I'm feeling:

I'm not as tired as I used to be other than the last couple days. Whole30 Timeline: Days 6-7 (I just want to nap.) I've noticed that I'm not as hungry between meals either. I'm staying full or satiated longer now.  Also I haven't had any heartburn or bloating like I was before. Overall I'm feeling pretty good. Sure I miss some of the foods I used to eat like ice cream and cheese but I have no problems not eating them. We have a key lime pie in the fridge I haven't even considered eating. It is a little hard doing this when others in the house are still eating off-plan food but it can be done and I'm DOING it.

What I ate:

Breakfast:

• Boiled Egg and fruit/veggies (Carrots, Apple, Banana)
• Spinach Fritta (Recipe in Whole30 book)

Lunch:

• Salad with grilled chicken. Oil & Vinegar dressing
• Stuffed Bell Pepper (Recipe in Whole30 book) - Left overs from dinner
• Protein salad on spinach

Dinner:

• "Sandwich" of celery & carrot that my 3yo daughter made for me. (Totally Kidding)
• Stuffed Bell Peppers
• Steak with roasted root vegetables
• Pork chops with asparagus

So that's it Week 1 is done and over with. Go me!! 

So tell me....
What did you struggle with your first week?
What did you eat?
How are you feeling?




*This post contains sponsored links from Amazon.

Whole30 Journey

I'm embarking on a journey to learn more about my body and the way the foods I eat affect it. Wanting to blog about my journey to keep a record of my progress I have chose to do so here.

I have commited to starting this process on July 1, 2015. I am aware that July 4th is right around the corner but the Whole30.com community is doing the reset starting this day so I thought what better day to start? It will be their 6th anniversary of starting Whole30 and I will be following right along with them!!

How I'm feeling.

Overall my health has been great over the years but in the last year I have been diagnosed with High Blood Pressure, gout, and PCOS. Depending on what I eat I can feel bloated, gassy, have heartburn, or just be sluggish. My brain has been foggy and I find it hard to focus sometimes.

At the end of the Whole30 I hope to have an increased amount of energy and have my blood pressure medicine reduced.

What I'm most nervous about.

I'm so nervous about cooking, I'm going into this without much knowledge on how to cook and as a 32 year-old woman that just isn't going to work any longer. I have always relied on my husband to cook our food or we go out to eat. Since he isn't planning on doing this with me I will need to learn how to cook. The meals I plan on eating will be simple ones that I can cook ahead of time and freeze or eat over the week. Since I work full-time and have a toddler in the house my time is limited during the week to really meal prep.

I'm using init4thelongrun.com as a source of inspiration on what to cook and how to do it. She has some great pages that lay it all out for you.

Want to join too? (Taken from Wholesome #19 newsletter)

If you want to participate in the July Whole30, here's what you do. (Note, all of these steps are totally optional. You can always just say to yourself, "I'm in," poke around our website for resources, and start your program on July 1st. We just think it's way more fun and effective if you do it as part of our huge, supportive group!)

• Review your copy of The Whole30. We'd recommend reading at least the program rules (page 13), our Getting Started guide (page 17), and the newly expanded Whole30 Timeline (page 32) to get you off on the right foot. You could also peruse our extensive FAQ (starting on page 53), or use our Whole30 Program Guide Index (pages 410-415) to look something up as you go.

• Join our Whole30 Forum and drop a comment on the July 1st thread in the "Join the Whole30" section. (We guarantee someone will start one between now and then--but if you're the first one there, go ahead and post!) Finding a Whole30 buddy and connecting with others on the same day as you can give you extra motivation and accountability to succeed.

• Sign up for the Whole30 Daily by June 30th. Our daily emails will provide you with resources, tips, previews of what's to come, and all the accountability you need in the form of an "I did it!" button at the end of every email.

• Follow us on social media (Instagram @whole30, @whole30recipes, Twitter @whole30, Facebook /whole30) to stay connected with us and all of the resources, fun, and encouragement we'll be offering throughout the month. 

Walk to Remember Oct 13, 2013

Three years later and I couldn't have guessed that the loss of my little girl would lead to me being interviewed for the news.

Today I'm excited to share with you the news article and video from the interview. The local hospital holds the Walk to Remember at their birthing center every year to honor those children who are gone too soon. I have attended every one since losing Brinley. The first one not even two months after she was gone. It has definitely been a growing experience for me. Last year I got to share my story and read a poem. I also shared my Face 2 Face MB group I started locally through www.FacesofLoss.com.

I will be doing the same thing this year although I still need a poem. So give them to me. What are your favorite poems, sayings, or stories?

So...its been a while, sorry.

Life has not stopped for me. I have had a lot going on this year between school, work, and home. I have had some depression creep in on me and seeked help for it. I'm feeling better these days and have had blogging on my mind a lot lately. So today seemed to be the right day to jump back in. Last month was Brinley's 3rd angelversary. I raised money for Molly Bears for her birthday. I ended up raising just over $300 through Jamberry Nails sales and from personal donations on Rally. If you would like to make a donation you can click on the Rally link to donate. :-) I would be forever grateful.

I'm keeping this post short since I have school work I need to work on so I'm going to leave you with this crazy dream I had last night.

I had an old friend from high school that I ran into ask if she could get a tattoo of my dead baby. She wanted her to look all bruised up in the tattoo and have Hang Gang written under it. At first I thought she wanted to get the tattoo to remember Brinley but then she explained it was to represent this gang she had joined! I told her HELL no she couldn't use my baby's picture for that. Then she pulled out this picture and long post I had written saying that anyone could use her picture for tattoos after she was first stillborn. 

I mean, WTF was that about? I don't often dream about Brinley. Actually I don't think I've ever had a dream about her living. I'm really sad about that.

Memories and grief

I will say during my whole pregnancy I kept saying that I wasn't ready to be a mother. I wasn't ready for a baby... I was 27 and until the week before she was born I didn't feel ready. As soon as I said that I felt I was ready she died... I was 37 weeks pregnant when I found out she no longer had a heartbeat... "There is no heartbeat" :***( Those are the most awful words I have ever heard. I was heartbroken to say the least but even in those few days after losing her I'm sure there were times where I laughed. I surrounded myself with people to keep my mind from going to those dark places and breaking down. I knew there would be time for that when everyone went back to living their lives and I was still left without my daughter...


Grief is different for everyone. I don't feel like one loss is better or worse than another. A miscarriage can be devastating for someone who really wants a baby or has trouble getting pregnant. How is that any different than a baby dying at 20 weeks, 35 weeks, or a few days old? I don't think it is. It is a bad situation for that person in that time. Now depending on what you have going on in your life a miscarriage might not be all that bad for you. I have a "friend" that said she was happy she had 3 miscarriages!!! I was kind of in shock when I heard that come out of her mouth. She had already had 2 children and just didn't know how she could have more. For her a miscarriage was no big thing, just another kid she didn't have to feed.

After losing Brinley I feel like I really appreciate Ever more than I might have. I realize how precious and fragile life is everyday because of Brinley. I also learned how strong of a person I am because of Brinley. She is never far from my thoughts. As a baby loss mother I appreciate it when others cry over her loss. I know she touched someone in life that never got to meet her. She will never be around to leave memories with the people she meets and every year she will be remembered by less and less others. I imagine eventually it will just be me.

2 years out

Brinley's birthday has just passed. She would have been 2 had she been born alive. It is unreal to think I have a dead baby. It feels foreign to me. I can't fathom it but it happened. It happened to me.

Since her death I have reached out and met so many wonderful women. I have had another baby, her younger sister. I have spoke to students in the nursing field about my experience to help educate them. I have finished my bachelor degree. I had her name inscribed on the memorial stone at the hospital. I have started a support group for other babyloss moms in my area. I donated a crocheted blanket from my grandmother in memory of Brinley to the hospital and I have finally gotten her memorial tattoo.

That was what I planned to do for her 2 year angelversary but I got sick so it got postponed another week. So this past weekend I went and got her name and a dragonfly tattooed on my wrist. I also dropped off the blanket my grandmother, Brinley's great-grandmother, crocheted. It is her original pattern she had named after Brinley. Pictured is the original blanket she won a first place ribbon on.
The group has had a slow beginning but I hope it will grow into something beautiful for the local women in my area. I wish I had more time to dedicate to it but I have other engagements like work, my family, and continuing my education so I do what I can. Eventually it will grow. All that matters is I've started it in Brinley's name.

Life goes on as usual. I remember her and still think of her often but the initial pain and hurt is gone. Now I strive to keep her memory alive.

It is hard though. This year there was a significant drop in the out-pore of love on her birthday and that is ok. It is easy to forget someone who was here for such a short time. She will be forever burned into my heart and soul as well as a few others. That is all that matters.

 

Summer time

It is that time of the year again. Her birthday is approaching quickly. Less than a month to go. Less than 20 days to go. To be exact 19 more days until my first born would have been 2 years old.

Although if she had lived she may have a different birthday than what she does but it is her day none the less. It has been months since I've written anything here. I have let myself get consumed with the life of a mother to a living baby lately. I often think that I need to come write but haven't made the time to do so.

I miss Brinley every.single.day. She is on my mind constantly. I often wonder how it would be raising her and her lil sister. I have taken to using cloth diapers with Ever and just recently bought an Angel Fluff for Brinley's Molly Bear. They are so cute. I can't wait to get Brinley's first and only cloth diaper.

With her birthday approaching I have no plans on how to celebrate yet. The only thing I can think of is getting her name tattooed like I have always wanted to do. Her day is on a Saturday so I think it would be perfect.

In the time away I have started a Face2Face group for other babyloss moms in the area. We have had 2 meetings with only 2 in attendance but interest from others. It is new and hopefully will grow. I've got some things in the works for helping it get bigger. I worry that I try to take on too much at once. I go back to school in September plus work so I'm not sure how much time I will have for the group but it is something I'm doing for Brinley and her memory.

Anyway I just wanted to post a quick update. I'm always close by... <3