Sometimes I feel like I am hiding from my pain. It is too much to bear or even think about. I don't want to open the closet I've put it in for fear of it falling on top of me like a ton of bricks. I feel normal. I feel bad for feeling normal. I just can't accept that I've had a dead baby. That seems so foreign to me. Today I don't accept my pain. It will have to come another day.