Monday, December 13, 2010

No I am not still pregnant

Today started out like any other day. I got up made breakfast which consisted of a Jimmy Dean Sausage Egg & Cheese Croissant then got in the car to head to work. I usually eat a couple bites then take the sausage off and throw it away so I rolled my car window down and proceeded to throw my sausage out the window when I heard it smack the window and fall into the front seat. I had rolled the back window down instead of the front. I needed to drink my coffee apparently. lol The smudge below was from that sausage.

So after I cleaned my window, yes I carry window cleaner in my car, I went into work. Throughout the day I had a few people that hadn't seen me since I came back to work after having Brinley tell me they were sorry to hear of my loss. I had others ask me how I have been doing. All of this got me emotional and brought up tears.

Lastly I ran into someone who was going to make the vegetable bars for my work's holiday luncheon on Wednesday because I told her I wanted that and I would trade with her to bring something else. So I asked if she was still making them and she said she couldn't because she had another event that she had to go through. Then she proceeded to pat my belly and say "I'm sorry baby."

WTF I'm not pregnant! Matter fact my baby died! I felt so bad and am sure she didn't realize what had happened. I was actually in shock that that just happened. I didn't have the heart to break down crying on her and correct her mistake so I smiled and said goodbye, went to my car to drive back to the building my office is in and broke down crying on the way back over there. I tried to call a fellow BLM because I wanted to tell someone who would know where I was coming from what just happened but got her voicemail. I managed to talk to a fellow co-worker who is also a BLM about it when the person I tried to call, called back. Anyway that event was the final straw for my day. I cried for a while by myself in the office, composed myself long enough to call another co-worker and ask her to let that person know what she did to me then called it a day and went home.

Tears I shed that had fallen on my desk.

That event ruined my day. I want to lose weight and hate that I look pregnant still.