Wednesday, November 17, 2010

I am one of THOSE people.

Since my loss I realize that I was one of THOSE people that didn't say the right thing or didn't say anything at all when a friend had a pregnancy loss. I want to apologize to all my friends that have had miscarriages, or other pregnancy losses that I wasn't there for. I also want to apologize to my friends I was there for but said the wrong things. I am guilty of being one of THOSE people.

I have said things like "You are young, you can have another." and "It happens all the time so I wouldn't feel bad."  How stupid was I to minimize the loss of a child? It's funny how you don't realize what a big deal it is to someone until you have been there.

I hope that out of my loss someone else will learn the right and wrong way to be there for someone if it happens again. I have also learned that saying "If you need anything just let me know." or "You can call me anytime" isn't good enough. You have to take initiative and offer specific help or show up with dinner. You need to call that person because it is so hard to reach out when you really need it. It is sooo much easier to just answer the phone when it rings than try to decide who to bother with your problems.

Again sorry to all those friends of mine that are mother's of angels!