Today I feel....

I am in shock still I think. I can't believe that my baby is gone. This must all be a bad dream. I lay in bed sometimes and remember what it felt like to try and turn over with my big ole belly and wish it was still there. Here it is already November and I feel like I still haven't woke up from that bad dream that started on August 17th. How has it gotten to be almost 3 months already from when I had Brinley?

I don't understand why she isn't here with me. I want my baby to hug and hold. I want to see her smile....

Sometimes I feel like punching something and I don't think a pillow will cut it. They tell you to punch a pillow if you are mad but that just doesn't seem like it will be good enough to satisfy the anger I have inside. So I read and I write and I search for something to make it all better.

Found this song shortly after writing this and had to add it. I think this is going to be one of my new favorites.