Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Don't want to be here

I never thought it would affect me this bad.
  1. I don't want to be here. 
  2. I don't want to have to read about other mother's losses. 
  3. I don't want to be looking for help. 
  4. I don't want to see my co-worker walk around 9 months pregnant with her baby girl knowing that I didn't get to come home with mine.
  5. I don't want to cry everyday. 
  6. I don't want to live everyday without my baby. 
  7. I don't want to have this hurt and pain just below the surface. 
  8. I don't want to go to the fair without my child. 
  9. I don't want to go to Ohio without my baby.
  10.  I don't want to go through Halloween, Thanksgiving, or Christmas without my Brinley.
  11. I don't want to have to do things in remembrance of her. 
God why is this so hard sometimes.....

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